This day, last year.

It was in the wee hours of this day, last year, that Santhan kochachan had passed into the mist of time. His loss to the family continues to be unbearable and Vilasini kunjamma, his wife has never been the same. Gone are her cheerful countenance, the easy manner in which she made friends with the others and above all, her interest to present herself immaculately dressed and groomed at all times. Her conversational pieces have been restricted to monosyllables and on very rare occasions extend to a few words after which she quickly retreats into her shell.

The thing that I remember about that sad day was that she hadn't shed a tear and seemed to be dazed about his going away so abruptly. And he was one husband who pampered his wife to the hilt! The common refrain within the family was that their love affair was a continuing saga with no diminishing in its intensity even after so many years.

There was an incident that had taken place a couple of months back at my cousin's wedding. She'd refused to have a wash and change to get ready for the occasion. Even my mom had tried to coax her into doing so but was unsuccessful. Eventually, she'd relented after I'd talked to her and boy, it required all my powers of persuasion with the entire family looking on. I've this sneaky feeling that she's in a surreal world with my kochachan. The doctor, who's looking after her medical management, says that she'd change, for the good, in course of time and patience was required.

It's my fond hope that we'd see a chirpy kunjamma amidst us as soon as possible!


Tailpiece.

I was immensely sad at the defeat of Mitt Romney at the US Presidential election, wonder why? Was I an American in my previous birth? And that too a Republican at that?  

The struggle.

Appukuttan kochachan was immediately younger to my dad and had died quite early. From childhood he had not shown any particular keenness towards his studies, so say the family elders. Soft spoken and shy, he'd strikingly good looks and was an obedient son to his parents. And he used to adore my dad and literally worshiped him

I must let you on to one of his childhood escapades that's common folklore in the family. There was a small stationery shop in the vicinity which used to be frequented by him. The shopkeeper was fond of him and entrusted the shop to the young lad frequently, as he went about running his errands. The crusty old businessman that he was, counted the number of toffees before he went off, just to make sure that his 'substitute' did not venture into relishing the goodies during his absence.

On his return, he used to count the toffees all over again to ensure that there was no indulgence on the part of the youngster. Then one day, the cat was out of the bag. Two people had complained that the toffees bought from the shop had an altogether different taste from what they, otherwise did when bought from other shops! On intense scrutiny, it was discovered that the young lad used to savour the toffees - without chewing - and put them back neatly within the confines of their wrappers!

Appukuttan kochachan, soon after, had got selected into the state's mounted police force and had shifted to Thiruvananthapuram. It was while staying in a rented room, all by himself, that cupid had struck and he fell in love with a girl from a very poor family, staying within the vicinity. Once he'd decided to marry her, no amount of pressure from his parents deterred him from his decision and after marriage, he'd studiously avoided taking his family to his parental home.

My kochachan and Saudamini chittamma sired six children and over the next decade went through the throes of a hand-to-mouth-existence, with the family subsisting on my kochachan's meagre earnings! I was in school those days and used to stay with my maternal grandparents during vacation. And my parents used to insist that I visited my kochachan at least once during those breaks and I still remember the 'festive air' in the cramped police quarters in connection with your's truly's arrival! It was much later that there was a thaw in the relations between my kochachan and his father. His family never visited the ancestral home though and his visits, too, were restricted. Such was his father's wrath - on marrying a girl of his choice - which he feared!! (But I must admit, at this juncture, that I've had the privilege of having seen and experienced my paternal grandfather's softer side too. Probably, his son's rebellion was a bit too much for him to stomach after a similar episode, earlier, concerning one of his daughters).

Wonder whether there's the 'proverbial curse' in the family. All his children - three sons and three daughters -   are well settled except for the eldest son, who's had a chequered career - he did not do well in his studies either - when he'd started as a newspaperboy, then as a salesman for a company and is now on to small scale contract work in the real estate business. His son - studies have been his 'Waterloo' too - had given me a call just a while back saying that he's off to Riyadh in Saudi Arabia, this Friday, for work. It's my fond hope that the flow of the 'gulf remittances' would improve the fortunes of his family.


Tailpiece.

(a) I'd wanted to be of some help to the youngster but could never get in touch with him those days as he kept himself studiously away from me.

(b) It was at my father's funeral that I'd met him when he'd broken down while telling me all about himself. I'd then provided him with a paltry monetary assistance. And he says that things have been going fine for him ever since!       

Disgustingly insensitive!

Thankfully, Soumya doesn't have to go through the ignominy of an insensitive barter that's going on in her name.

The young lady - she was 23 and an employee of a private firm - had met her violent end during a train journey on 01 Feb 2011. She was pushed out of the train by a marauder and while lying seriously injured near the railway track at Vallathol Nagar, was raped by him. She did not survive the ordeal and her soul had taken flight from this unkind and insensitive world. To my mind it was good that she did not survive because the grievous injuries that she'd sustained, coupled with the mental trauma of rape, would have made her life a living hell!

The Railway Claims Tribunal has directed the Southern Railway to pay a solatium of Rs.4 lakhs to Soumya's mother based on a compensation claim filed on her daughter's tragic end. As far as governmental institutions go, one understands the fact that they cannot afford to get bogged down by sentiments and have to give directives satisfying the aggrieved parties, to the extent feasible, based on the merits of the case.

But going beyond practicalities, my mind is in a turmoil thanks to the following questions that reverberate within :-

      (a) Would I, as a parent to have undergone such a loss, ever have approached a court asking for
           compensation?

      (b) Can anyone quantify the intrinsic worth of a human life in terms of money?

      (c) And what about the Southern Railway's argument that a sum of Rs.3 lakhs, paid to the family on the
           immediate aftermath of the incident, be deducted(thankfully, this was shot down by the tribunal) from
           the solatium?


Tailpiece.

If we can't respect human life, at least, let's have the decency not to disrespect the dead!

The first guests at our unfinished home!

Jojy-Saly and Murali-Radhika were the first guests in our unfinished house. We'd wanted them to come by, offer their suggestions and see as to what all were implementable among them before 'the point of no return'. As I maintain, when one buys a finished house, one really surrenders the freedom to have it one's way - in other words, one needs to accept the attendant constraints without going in for too many additions and alterations!

The changes that one can bring about have to be aesthetic, practical, badly needed for better living and finally, backed with funds, of course. My friends have suggested quite a few changes, all of them being implementable except for one - the enlargement of the guests' bedroom(it's a wee bit small too!) on the top floor! And why? The resultant protrusion will eat away the the splendid expanse of the balcony. On the other hand, the enclosing of the balcony with French windows, all around, seems to be a better proposition but the natural air flow will be cut off as the enclosure would have to be provided with controlled atmospherics!

Meanwhile, work continues at a reasonable pace. The new trusses that have been erected at the front and the rear have enlarged the footprint of the house without altering its original facade.

We'd kicked off back to Kochi by around 1430 h and was at our place by teatime. And I could catch up with my customary evening walk!


Tailpiece.

Saw the evening's episode of KBC that had Shah Rukh Khan and Katrina Kaif on the hot seat to sell their new movie, 'Jab Tak Hai Jaan', the last film made by the late Yash Chopra. It was two hours of sheer entertainment, masterly performed by the three of them! And educative, as well.

  

At Guruvayur, yet again!

It was an early morning get away from Kochi for Guruvayur. And the task - to monitor the progress of work at our house, clear doubts and remove bottlenecks and of course, clear payments on work completed. And above all, to familiarise with the new place that's gonna be our abode!

 It was not only fun but educative to be with the skilled labourers. Their explanations on why a work was done in a particular manner was illuminative of their immaculate thought processes. The house has begun to acquire life and the immediate neighbours have also started taking notice of our frequent visits. And I believe that a few of them are curious to know as to why we've decided to settle down here where we've no roots!

And the day was topped off with a darshan of the 'Mammiyoor Sivan' in the evening. The temple was comparatively less crowded and everything went off with clockwork precision.


Tailpiece.

Guruvayur is getting ready for the 'ekadasi' which falls on the 25th of this month. The crowds visiting the temple will be unprecedented as always. And what's the significance of the day?

It was on this day that Lord Krishna had imparted the 'Gitopadesam' to Arjuna, his favourite disciple!






  

Karva Chauth in Kochi!

I was called up late last night for permission to celebrate 'karva chauth' and on an impulse, my counter to them was as to why they're doing so for celebrating such a lovely festival - so popular in the north and many had been the occasions when we're invited to the celebrations, while we were at Delhi.

I'd given the go ahead as I was thrilled to know that the festival would be celebrated within the premises of the enclave of which I was the patriarch(?). And the enthusiasm seemed to be infectious in that there was a sizeable number of ladies who had come forth to participate!

It was simply great to watch the ladies - across the spectrum of age - going through the intricate motions of the various stages of the prayers and eventually, setting their sights for a glimpse of the moon - to break their daylong fast for the longevity of their husbands - through the break in the thick cloud cover. Thankfully, the rains had held back all the while.

I'd to attend an official function in the evening and was a bit late to return. And I was humbled by the fact that a few of them had insisted on personally thanking me for the opportunity given. Kindness begets kindness and I'd reiterated that I'd done nothing out of the way.


Tailpiece.

Sad to have missed out on the entire sequence of events that make up the 'karva chauth' proceedings. But I'm elated that the celebrations took place in our enclave! May they get whatever they'd wished for!!

Changing trends?

Are these changing trends? Or is it a case of old wine in new bottles?


1. Tech savvy astrologers.

I am rather amused to hear that the astrologers are going hi-tech. And why not? One has to be with the times, you see. 'Kavadi kriya' is gonna be a thing of the past once the older generations pass by. They used to calculate the planetary positions and predict their consequential effects through the use of 'cowries' - the 'kadapayadi' method as it's also known - with the affected parties hanging to every word that they uttered. They made or broke lives, you see.

The new generation astrologers prefer to use calculators, computers and laptops for their astrological calculations. The system is faster and fault less they say. But can one say that with definiteness? My doubt is that of the layman's. The software are man made and hence, prone to errors. Whereas, the cowrie can never  go wrong which is, incidentally, an abacus of sorts as my comprehension goes.

But is there any need to know about one's future? And can the experiences that are encountered in life be predicted, ever? At best, the milestones can be established as I reckon. Anyways, what's the fun in living if one knows everything that's gonna happen in one's life. The thrill is in the mystery, I feel!

But having said that I must confess to going through the 'This week for you' column, in my copy of the Sunday ToI rather diligently only to realise - at the end of the week - that the predictions didn't happen!!


2. Corruption everywhere.

Accusations and counter-accusations of corruption have been flying thick and fast on anyone and everyone, that we're familiar with, on the political landscape. Many of the stories actually do not surprise me but as the magnitude gets exposed, it's a frightening thought. It gives a feeling that those of us who obey the law and are happy with whatever we have - without aspiring for anything that's not our's - are a minority. What makes me sadder is the level of corruption that has seeped into the younger generations. Why do we've to follow wrong things, wrong practices? No, I ain't pontificating.

Life is so comfortable when one's happy with whatever one has. One knocks off to sleep the moment one touches one's bed, I mean, sleep is never troublesome. And most importantly, one can live with one's head held high without having to lower it in front of anybody, ever. Isn't that the most powerful and meaningful existence in this world?


Tailpiece.

To wield power does one need to be corrupt? Sadly, the corrupt seems to get maximum coverage and what they do and utter become 'headline' news or 'breaking' news! Gosh, some are adept in hoodwinking the common man eternally!