Ammu weds Mithun.

Had ducked off to sleep much past midnight and was up with the lark. It was a quick trip to Kottarakkara to pick up Seena and Digna for decking up Ammu. The house was lit up through the night to ward off untoward incidents and I'd switched off as the first light had started peeping through. Our relations from Neelamperoor, Ettumanoor and Kidangoor arrived in quick succession and in the meanwhile, Stalin's photographic/videographic team had arrived and commenced their work.

The ceremonial giving of the 'dakshina' began without much ado and by about a quarter past 9, we'd shut down the house and proceeded to the venue of the wedding. My friends, Jojy-Saly and Mohanachandran along with my cousin, Prabha and Ramakrishnan arrived well within time to be with us as we went through the marriage ceremonies. As I was making rounds of the auditorium ensuring that everything was in place, to my surprise I found Varadamma appachi - my dad's youngest sister - sitting at the ground floor on a chair, saying that she was unable to climb up the stairs. It was then that I asked three other cousins of mine to help me pick her up, along with the chair and carried her upstairs. As I made her sit in the front row along with my aunts, Vichani kunjamma and Indira kunjamma, they're thrilled to be back together after a long lapse of time!

The wedding ceremony went off quickly and efficiently and it was soon time for the ceremonial lunch. I'd made it a point to meet up with each and everyone of the guests to exchange pleasantries and to bring myself up with their actual concerns, difficulties that were worrying them. We'd catered for about 700 guests while the actual footfalls turned out to be much less @ 500! The lunch was good and I'd congratulated Aneesh and his team for their good work but food was again wasted that did pain me on a very personal note.

Lekha as the 'first aunt'(Ammayi) had the privilege of leading the train of girls, along with the special lamp(Called 'ammayi vilakku') and looked good in her role of escorting at first, the bridegroom, then, the bride to the stage and finally, the newly wedded couple, off the stage. though she found the lamp a bit heavy!

Mithun, Ammu and the folks from Payyannur were seen off on their long journey back at 1430 hrs after winding up everything at the venue like affixing the signatures, by the couple, on the official wedding register at the 'karayogam office'. Paying up the remaining sums after the initial signing up amounts was taken up with vigour - under the various heads - now that the event was over and we're headed for Payyannur to attend the reception from the boy's side.


Tailpiece.

We're at the Kollam railway junction well in time but not before encountering an unexpected fiasco, in the train, while trying to convert a few of the upper berths to lower berths for Lekha and a few senior citizens, among us. It ended up with me and Padmakumar not having berths, for ourselves, throughout the journey.




     

The final push.

Dateline 20 May.

It was a leisurely morning. News came from all over. Mithun’s folks had started from Payyannur after 8 and the entourage consisted of a bus carrying 50 people along with Mithun, his younger brother and a cousin in an Innova, ahead of it.

Meanwhile, Seena, the beautician and her elder sister, Digna had missed the morning train and had to change three buses before being picked up at Kottarakkara in our car. Kala and Kannan with his family had reached by lunchtime and they were followed by Suma kunjamma and family. However, the crowd realised the scarcity of water and had decided to stay in one of the hotels at Kottarakkara and that decision of theirs saw me breathing easy!

The pandals were completed and the electricians had rigged up the lighting along with additional fans and circulators put in place. Seena and her sister had, meanwhile, arrived and begun earnestly to enhance the beauty of the bride-to-be!

And soon, it was past sunset and the evening reception had begun in right earnest. Though we’d expected a small local crowd of around 300, the final tally was just about 200. Consequently, there was wastage of food and I’d be kidding if I said that it didn’t bother me. Mithun’s maternal uncle and his family had fetched up at Kollam, by train and they’re picked up by Sanil and me. The drive through blinding rain was at high speeds Sanil had a tendency to go off the road, that saw me clutch on my  bucket seat quite often!

We didn’t know the exact strength of the passengers but the six of them were fully packed like sardines on the rear seat and it was almost a 45 minute drive! The hotel where they’re put up for the night had served them their dinner, on arrival. The Innova had already fetched up by then and we could brief them about the timings tomorrow, the plethora of traditional rituals right down to the sequence of the activities prior to the wedding, during the wedding and after the wedding!

Tailpiece.

It was a real late night! We did make a trip to the wedding hall to see the progress of work. The food makers were at it and the aroma was pleasing. The stage was set and it looked nice

  

The run up.

It was a crazy day when there was one shortfall after another. Water was at a premium and the motor was being operated sparingly – and must admit, expertly by Mini. The electric power supply had quite a few interruptions and the sweltering heat made life difficult. The house was taking too much time to get back to its right looks with everything in the right place.

There were guests who trickled all through the day and Anil, along with his chittappan, had come down from Ayoor. In fact, I’d taken Sanil’s car and had driven to the place near mom’s old post office area so that my dongle could get the network cover. It’s at such times, that the system has a tendency to buck and that’s exactly what happened this morning.

Extra lunch was procured and the entire lot of guests was catered for in no time. Anil and company had come to see as to what was the progress in the preparation of the wedding.

Today also saw the tying up of all the loose ends and the house was ready in all respects and it looked bright and as we used to say in service parlance, “It was ready for Cabin Cupboard!” From tomorrow onward, the guests would be arriving.

What a fine victory!

Ultimately, the International Court of Justice has stayed Pakistan’s death verdict on Cdr Kulbhushan Jadhav announced by a kangaroo court of its Army. That the whole incident smacked of a wily mindset on the part of that country was known to the entire world right from the beginning. A whole range of questions need to be answered by the Pakistan government as well as its army, right from the manner in which the Indian Commander was nabbed and put into prison.

But being the rogue state that Pakistan is known to be, would it accept the Hague’s judgement with grace?

              

                    *              *              *   

 Raj Nivas is slowly getting to look like a house where a function is going to be held. Vijayan and his team had arrived around 10 and without much ado, went about their task of setting up the pandals, one in the front and the other at the rear. The rain had, meanwhile, caught on and the idea of keeping the ground dry was partially successful as the left half of the pandal, in the front, was put in place while it was raining. Consequently:-

(a)    The house has become dark as the natural lighting has been obscured.

(b)   One doesn’t get the feel of the rain because of the temporary shelter.

Calls came from far and wide offering help and generally to update themselves about the preparations connected with Ammu's wedding.

                       *                   *                   *

Today has been a comparatively quiet day but the visitors continued to pour in without any let up. We're meeting up with quite a few of them after a long while. It's good that Rema and Mini - my sisters - are here because they know most of them. I've always been an outsider as my schooling and subsequent professional requirements saw me only in short stints every year and hence the tag!



Tailpiece.

The rain has seen a small raise in the water level in the well at our backyard. Hope it improves over the next couple of days to accommodate our relations who want to arrive the previous day. 

An institution mired in corruption and red tapism.

The first call was from the tentwallah, Vijayan, who said that he was erecting the pandal in front and at the rear of the house for the pre-wedding reception on the 20th. It had rained last night and he was apprehensive that the ground around would get waterlogged and soggy that would spoil the mat that he planned to lay on the ground, beneath the roof, that he was gonna erect. The job should be over before sunset, he said.

Ramadasan kochachhan, my dad’s younger brother, had called up from Nasik to say that he would not be attending the wedding as he was indisposed. I’d miss him but such drop outs are inevitable at certain times. Moreover, he and chittamma had attended the engagement ceremony. It was around a half past 10 and the three of us – my sisters and I – had set off for the village office to hand over our application for legal heirship certificate, with regard to mom, endorsed by the taluk office. I’d asked Sasi, our next-door-neighbour and Vijayan, the caretaker to be our witnesses with their ID proof.

The Village Officer did show his importance by asking me to wait out but all that he did was to speak on his cellphone which was the usual routine ones to his acquaintances, judging by the thread of conversation that was audible. After making/attending those calls, he entertained a few people before Sasi beckoned me to barge into the office. He was angered in the manner that the village officer was making me wait. Sasi announced loudly my erstwhile professional standing and as to who I was and had raised his voice in the bargain. He clearly asked him as to whether he wanted to help us or as to whether he was trying to make things difficult for us but the guy wouldn’t budge.

Instead, he was openly deriding the bank who’d asked for the certificate because to his knowledge, it was the bank that was acting funny by insisting upon the document. I’d then quietly narrated the process that we’d gone through and he didn’t seem to have any more questions. He promised to issue his certificate within the next week which he was willing to hand over to us so that we could progress it at the taluk office and subsequently, hand it over to the government press at Thiruvananthapuram where the gazette is published. It’s the copy of that notification that the bank ultimately needs! The time that is required for the entire process to be over will be about two months!.......Is this the progress that we’re making? Power has been decentralised and given to the lowest rung of the government. Yet, the roadblocks and corruption exist. Sad!

I’d to put Sasi at ease and convinced him that there wasn’t any point in showing off our capabilities at the initial stages. He’d be dealt with sternly at the appropriate moment I assured him if he was lackadaisical about it. On the return leg, we’d gone to the upper primary school to hand over the Rs.5 grand to the school’s headmistress for the purchase of books in the ongoing process of building up the section in the school library in dad’s name.

It was a boisterous lunch on return and soon after, the entire lot had gone for their tying up of things while I was only too happy to be left alone, so that I could catch up on my siesta.

The rest of the day was spent in putting things into their respective places and getting the house back in shape. Ammu wanted to hear anecdotes from me about her grandparents and great grandparents and I did just that much to the amusement of the others and in turn, richly complemented by their contribution. The evening turned out to be long, eventually but it was worth every moment! 

Tailpiece.

Vijayan was a no show after his morning’s announcement. He came in his swanky sedan half an hour before sunset getting his assistant to acquaint himself with the place! Yesterday’s tentwallah has metamorphosed into the suave ‘event manager’ of today – a change of nomenclature and a foreign touch, in outlook, to boot!

                

The preparations to a wedding.....

Preparatory work in connection with Ammu’s wedding is going on in full swing. The attendant confusions, frayed tempers and forgetfulness have been an ongoing saga. Just letting you on to a few........

Fifty year old Ammini has been helping us over the past few days in clearing up things in the newly painted house. She’s a tireless worker, does any work assigned to her and needs no supervision. This morning, I chose to remain at home while the others went shopping. After finishing her work indoors, she took up the job of clearing the surrounding areas without instructions! I suppose this is what one’s dedication to one’s job is all about.

She had a sad story to recount. Her 15 year old son had attempted suicide, about a couple of months back because he was upset with his dad’s taunts. The road to recovery has been long but the youngster has started moving around. The only problem is that he has bouts of anger of enormous proportions – to quote her – and that bothers her! She would be the mainstay of the house for the next few days till the marriage function.

*          *             *

Today, Ammu’s wedding trousseau was shown to me and the bride’s father. Lekha and my sisters have done a commendable job and now I can understand the hectic behind-the- scenes activity undertaken by Lekha after the engagement ceremony. The technicalities, the choice of fashions, mating them with the bride’s requirements and the nitty gritties have been gone through with plenty of ground work and I applaud the ladies’ endeavours! They’ve done a neat job.

*        *               *

Meanwhile, the rest of the family had gone for collecting the clothes that were given for stitching, buying certain pieces of furniture in replacement of the old ones and tying up a few things that had cropped up over discussions last night.            

A searing pain.

Dateline 15 May.

Suresh, from  Olathaanni near Neyyattinkara, is married to my cousin, Reshmi who’s the second daughter of Indira kunjamma (My third ma’asi). After doing her MSW, she’s been working at the SAT hospital and has been a source of many interesting, yet complicated medical case studies that she comes across. Suresh is a chief engineer in the merchant marine and has many nautical miles and engine hours to his credit. Quiet and unassuming, he’s simple, empathic to others’ difficulties and ever ready to help people in difficulty.

I’ve always looked forward to spend time with him. He’s to be drawn into a conversation because he’s basically shy and interacts freely with people once he gets friendly with them. We both have a common passion of seeing movies and therefore, together, we’ve visited a lot many cinemas together.

Suresh is extremely close to his family. His respect, affinity and love towards his parents were endearing qualities that I’ve admired in him. When his mom had passed away, a few years back, owing to cancer on her tongue, it had shaken him because he’s always maintained that it was her untiring efforts that made him what he is today. His dad was almost like a friend to him and his professional preoccupations had brought him back only after his 41^st day ceremony and for that, he still nurses a grudge on those circumstances!  I remember the manner in which his parents eagerly looked forward to his return from an engagement at sea. The doting parents and their son complemented each other beautifully!

His attachment to his siblings is worth emulation. He’s ensured that all of them have attained good positions in the society and has personally overseen the progression of his nephews and nieces, helping them find their placements and funding them adequately, to achieve their milestones. To cite an example, he’d spent about Rs.10 lakhs towards the run up to his niece’s wedding about a few months back! An uncle providing such a help is rare in today’s world but Suresh is a unique personality!!

He was gearing up to go to sea last September when he’d a bothersome premolar on his lower jaw. While carrying out his medicals, he decided to get a detailed investigation done and it was during that examination that he was diagnosed for cancer. He was put under the care of Dr. Subramonia Iyer, a plastic surgeon who has made spectacular contributions in that field. Consequently, an 11 hour long surgery was conducted on Suresh towards the end of last Nov with the fond hope that he’d resume his professional activity after a lapse of four months. Things seemed to be headed the right way when around the fourth month, Suresh started having frequent bouts of severe pain emanating from the premolar – where it had all started – traversing toward the ear, ending up in blackouts.

It was decided to go in for a second surgery when it was found that he’d contracted a ‘vigorous’ strain of cancer and he’s, now, on a high dosage of pain killers with liquid food being provided through a tube into the abdomen, presumably to rest the area that has undergone two surgeries. The sad part is that Suresh is fond of good food! He’s lost a lot of weight - post surgery – and lies on the sofa in the sitting room of his house, meeting up with people who call on him.

Reshmi and their son - he dotes on him – keep a perpetual watch on Suresh and his needs but that’s taking a toll on them, too. My aunt goes through the agony silently. Savio, my friend and doctor in Chicago, Subbu and I have interactions, flummoxed by the ongoing trends of Suresh’s ailment. Last evening, both the sisters, Lekshmi and Reshmi, had rung me up to help them find a medical facility anywhere on the globe that would cure Suresh. I’ve told them that I’d get back within the next 48 hrs with a definite answer but as I inch closer to the deadline, I find that I’m yet to get an optimistic and definite answer.

O god, why are you putting him through pain especially when he’s been a nice guy all through his life? Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed his niceness?

Meanwhile, the searing pain deep within continues without any let up!

Tailpiece.

The sprucing up of Raj Nivas is nearly complete. Everything needs to be, carefully, put back in place! The house is agog with activity and my sisters say that they can feel my parents within the house.