My Narendran kochachan.

Today is Narendran Kochachan's remembrance day. He'd moved into the mist of time, 12 years ago.

Narendran Nair was the youngest of eight siblings of NK Panicker and Kalyani Amma, my paternal grandparents of Krishna Mandiram at Thalavoor, a sleepy hamlet of Kollam district. He was fond of me as I happened to be his eldest brother's(the third sibling of the Panickers, after two daughters) son.

My first encounter with him was sometime in Dec '63 when my dad had taken me to his ancestral home to spend a few days of my Christmas holidays with his folks. He was in class IX or X then, I am not sure. Narendran kochachan was entrusted with my safety and my dad - he's scared of him - had asked him to show me around with my grandfather emphasising on the dos and don'ts! His firm diktat was that I should be kept away from the swift flowing stream that happened to be the northern boundary of his tiny estate. However, once we're out of the elders' view, Narendran kochachan took matters into his own stride, assuring me that his intention was to ensure that I'd a feel of everything about the countryside. We tried to cross the stream when I was almost taken away by the swift flow. I remember a shaken kochachan holding on - no, literally clinging on - to me after retrieval!!

He, then, asked me as to whether I wanted to see God to which my answer was affirmative. Asking me to keep my clenched right fist - palm down - he hit me with a marble from a sitting position about 5' or so away from me. It really hurt and I told him that I was going to report the matter to my dad and my grandfather, through my tears. I remember how he'd looked after me and lavished me with sweets and small gifts, for the remaining part of a week that I was there. I can go on and on about my experiences with him.

When Sajeev, his son, called me up last night to remind me of today's ceremony, it reminded me of the call(the timing had an uncanny resemblance - sometime past 1900 hrs!) that I'd received from his home, 12 years ago, saying that he's no more and when I'd rushed in there, my aunt had broken down weeping and collapsed into my arms. I do not know as to how long I'd sat there letting her express her sorrow with tears but I remember being wet all over and being totally numb. The numbness had continued even as I went about performing his last rites with the others.

Narendran kochacha, there were many this afternoon, who remembered you for your simplicity, charm and the happiness that you spread around. And there were many of your friends from the Mata Amritanandamayi ashram nearby who'd recounted their experiences with you.

RIP Kochacha! We miss you all the time.