It was a half past 5, in the morning, when we'd started our journey to the 'Papanasam' beach at Varkala - about 50 kms away from my home at the foot of the 'Parabrahma Janardanaswami' temple - to bid adieu to dad's last mortal remains. And it was also my last duty to my dad as his son!
The journey was uneventful but we're reminded of a similar trip that we all had made to the temple town of Pazhani a few months back when dad was in his elements, in flashes though. I clung on to the urn carrying his ashes and realised that I've not had enough of him. As we transited, I whispered the names of important landmarks that were whizzing past to my dad till we reached the beach around a quarter to 7.
The ceremony started soon after and the affable pandit (he seemed to realise my discomfort) at the beach chanted the related mantras and at 19 minutes past 7, my dad's mortal remains were accepted by the friendly waves of the Arabian Sea. Despite the presence of the entire family and a multitude of people on the beach, I felt a tremendous sense of loneliness. The thought that dad's assuring presence was never going to be available from then on snapped something in me deep within. Wonder how mom's tackling the void though she's constantly maintained a dignified calm all through and has been consoling us from time to time.
The 'tila homam' at the temple was the final activity before our return leaving Leela kunjamma, Santhan kochachan and dad to themselves!
And I remember my dad........
- the way he stuffed me with ice creams, soon after my tonsilitis surgery, while I was in class II.
- when he hit me for telling a lie - the only time that I can remember - and then fretting over it
- patiently teaching me to cycle and getting horrified when I'd a nasty gash from my first fall.
- presenting me with an HMT Sona watch (and my first) when I'd passed class XI.
- proudly patting me at the Sudan Block lawns soon after the passing out parade at the NDA.
- walking with a swagger on the bridge of the ship that was my first command.
- looking keenly at the gallantry medal that I'd received at an investiture ceremony
- taking Bruno for his walks when we're home for vacation.
- and I can go on and on because he's given me so much to remember!!
The journey was uneventful but we're reminded of a similar trip that we all had made to the temple town of Pazhani a few months back when dad was in his elements, in flashes though. I clung on to the urn carrying his ashes and realised that I've not had enough of him. As we transited, I whispered the names of important landmarks that were whizzing past to my dad till we reached the beach around a quarter to 7.
The ceremony started soon after and the affable pandit (he seemed to realise my discomfort) at the beach chanted the related mantras and at 19 minutes past 7, my dad's mortal remains were accepted by the friendly waves of the Arabian Sea. Despite the presence of the entire family and a multitude of people on the beach, I felt a tremendous sense of loneliness. The thought that dad's assuring presence was never going to be available from then on snapped something in me deep within. Wonder how mom's tackling the void though she's constantly maintained a dignified calm all through and has been consoling us from time to time.
The 'tila homam' at the temple was the final activity before our return leaving Leela kunjamma, Santhan kochachan and dad to themselves!
And I remember my dad........
- the way he stuffed me with ice creams, soon after my tonsilitis surgery, while I was in class II.
- when he hit me for telling a lie - the only time that I can remember - and then fretting over it
- patiently teaching me to cycle and getting horrified when I'd a nasty gash from my first fall.
- presenting me with an HMT Sona watch (and my first) when I'd passed class XI.
- proudly patting me at the Sudan Block lawns soon after the passing out parade at the NDA.
- walking with a swagger on the bridge of the ship that was my first command.
- looking keenly at the gallantry medal that I'd received at an investiture ceremony
- taking Bruno for his walks when we're home for vacation.
- and I can go on and on because he's given me so much to remember!!
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