I happened to come across an interesting news-cum-statistics about the increasing trends in divorces taking place in Kerala - a state that has surpassed the national average on this count. Just peruse these to understand the sheer acuteness of the problem:-
(a) About 1,00,000 marriages take place, on an average, every year.
(b) Of these, 8% opt for a divorce within the first year itself. What it implies is that 8,000 marriages go
'kaput' within the first twelve months! Disillusionment at such a short span of time?
(c) And then there are many other cases, the common reason cited being 'incompatibility'.
So, what's the problem? What actuates this appalling situation? Again, the findings are interesting:-
(a) The proliferation of mobile phones.
(b) Splintering of the joint family system into nuclear families.
(c) Financial independence for both, men and women, at a comparatively young age.
(d) Themes that have become the staple diet of family soaps which highlight varying aspects of
relationships, which were hitherto uncharted territory. Do I find a man-woman competition in this
area - I mean, something like a 'if he can do it, why not me?' - sort of a syndrome?
(e) The permissiveness in the Indian society - can the mallu society be far behind, then? - that has taken
great strides, almost aping the decadent west of the '70s and the '80s! The paradox is that while they've
realised their past follies and swear by a strong family system for supporting the institution of
marriage, we seem to have embarked on that path with a gay abandon!!
(f) Consequentially, a growing disillusionment in the institution of marriage that takes recourse in live-in
relationships sans commitment.
(g) Easily formed relationships at the workplace, when the couple put forth their best foot forward only
to rue about it later on being confronted with the actual personality.
(h) And lastly, I found this very interesting, there has been a spate of 'parent promoted divorces'! It's
popularly known by its acronym, 'PPD'!
I was always under the impression that parents, in the Indian context, were the 'shock absorbers' for their children especially, when their marriages went through strain. By their wisdom and experience about life, they had the right to interject and infuse a new meaning to a withering relationship! And the beauty of the whole thing was that the affected parties accepted this 'course correction' wholeheartedly and without rancour. However, the trend these days is for the parents to exploit the simmering differences in a couple, drive in a wedge and encourage them to go in for a divorce! This is what the phenomenon of 'parent promoted divorce' is all about!!
I suppose these are the strange and absurd trends of the 'kalyug' as was told to me by my grandmother, long ago.
Tailpiece.
1. The media in Kerala has been churning out the colourful stories of the Ganesh Kumar - Yamini rift. He'd to resign from the state cabinet against allegations of wife bashing, when she'd confronted him with his peccadilloes! To my mind everyone in this drama is a loser. And we seem to be gladly lapping up their discomfiture with the colourful stories emanating from their bedroom. It's in extremely bad taste and I tend to agree with the person who'd said that there's a 'voyeur' in every one of us!!
2. Marriage, undoubtedly, is a sacred institution and to make it work, a lot of give and take is expected from both the parties. It also takes in the fact that one does not get everything that one wishes for and therefore, must willingly accept what has come one's way. The children, otherwise, are the ultimate losers carrying the trauma of their parents' bad vibes throughout their lives!
(a) About 1,00,000 marriages take place, on an average, every year.
(b) Of these, 8% opt for a divorce within the first year itself. What it implies is that 8,000 marriages go
'kaput' within the first twelve months! Disillusionment at such a short span of time?
(c) And then there are many other cases, the common reason cited being 'incompatibility'.
So, what's the problem? What actuates this appalling situation? Again, the findings are interesting:-
(a) The proliferation of mobile phones.
(b) Splintering of the joint family system into nuclear families.
(c) Financial independence for both, men and women, at a comparatively young age.
(d) Themes that have become the staple diet of family soaps which highlight varying aspects of
relationships, which were hitherto uncharted territory. Do I find a man-woman competition in this
area - I mean, something like a 'if he can do it, why not me?' - sort of a syndrome?
(e) The permissiveness in the Indian society - can the mallu society be far behind, then? - that has taken
great strides, almost aping the decadent west of the '70s and the '80s! The paradox is that while they've
realised their past follies and swear by a strong family system for supporting the institution of
marriage, we seem to have embarked on that path with a gay abandon!!
(f) Consequentially, a growing disillusionment in the institution of marriage that takes recourse in live-in
relationships sans commitment.
(g) Easily formed relationships at the workplace, when the couple put forth their best foot forward only
to rue about it later on being confronted with the actual personality.
(h) And lastly, I found this very interesting, there has been a spate of 'parent promoted divorces'! It's
popularly known by its acronym, 'PPD'!
I was always under the impression that parents, in the Indian context, were the 'shock absorbers' for their children especially, when their marriages went through strain. By their wisdom and experience about life, they had the right to interject and infuse a new meaning to a withering relationship! And the beauty of the whole thing was that the affected parties accepted this 'course correction' wholeheartedly and without rancour. However, the trend these days is for the parents to exploit the simmering differences in a couple, drive in a wedge and encourage them to go in for a divorce! This is what the phenomenon of 'parent promoted divorce' is all about!!
I suppose these are the strange and absurd trends of the 'kalyug' as was told to me by my grandmother, long ago.
Tailpiece.
1. The media in Kerala has been churning out the colourful stories of the Ganesh Kumar - Yamini rift. He'd to resign from the state cabinet against allegations of wife bashing, when she'd confronted him with his peccadilloes! To my mind everyone in this drama is a loser. And we seem to be gladly lapping up their discomfiture with the colourful stories emanating from their bedroom. It's in extremely bad taste and I tend to agree with the person who'd said that there's a 'voyeur' in every one of us!!
2. Marriage, undoubtedly, is a sacred institution and to make it work, a lot of give and take is expected from both the parties. It also takes in the fact that one does not get everything that one wishes for and therefore, must willingly accept what has come one's way. The children, otherwise, are the ultimate losers carrying the trauma of their parents' bad vibes throughout their lives!
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