From here and there!

English Is Full Of Contradictions

Here are some funny ones :-

* Found Missing * Open Secret * Small Crowd * Act Naturally * Clearly Misunderstood * Fully Empty * Pretty Ugly * Seriously Funny * Only Choice * Original Copies * Exact Estimate * Tragic Comedy * Foolish Wisdom * Liquid Gas and the latest * Social Distancing.

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For Punsters

* I've always wondered if chickens communicated using fowl language. Maybe only when they're egg-cited.

* An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, you see.

* I didn't think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected.

* I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink and entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate.

* Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It's a case of in one ear and out of the udder.

* I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops.

* My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

* My wife claims I'm the cheapest person she's ever met. I'm not buying it.

* Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow has only 16. The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.

* I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.

* What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self.

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Just For Fun

From a retired Colonel!

I didn't volunteer in the Army - I was forced to join by my parents. 

So I wasn't going to make life easy for anyone.

During medical tests, the doc asked softly, "Can you read the letters on the wall?"

"What letters?" I said shrewdly.

"Good", he said. "You passed the hearing test.

Tailpiece.

Got up at 6, the chores and was ready by 10. Suma was given a day off today, by Lekha, as she complained of pain in the shoulders.

Our going to Neelamperoor to sign on the documents of Puthuvayil Veedu has been worked out to the last mile. Only hope that the weather doesn't play truant!