Insults.......

 .....When coated with humour and wit make for a great combination. Just a few....

* She has a supreme court figure - no appeal.

* He is a real big gun - of small caliber and immense bore.

* She dresses to kill - and cooks the same way.

* He was a premature baby - he was born before his parents were married.

* He was born in the United States - terrible things happen in other countries too.

* His obesity - is surplus gone to waist.

* He left his job because of illness and fatigue - his boss was sick and tired of him.

* His credit is so bad - he cannot even borrow trouble.

* He kept learning more and more about less and less - until now he knows everything about nothing.

* What he lacks in intelligence - he makes up in stupidity.

* He may talk like a fool and act like a fool but don't get the wrong idea about him - he is a fool.

* It is not that he does not have presence of mind - his trouble is absence of thought. 

* Her photographs do her injustice - they look like her.

* He is as phoney - as a dentist's smile.

* He started out in life as an unwanted child - now he is wanted in 10 states.

* She has a keen sense of - rumour.

* He is a jack of all trades - and out of work in all of them.

* They are in Iron and Steel Industry - she irons the clothese and he steals.

* She thought she was getting a model husband - too bad he is not a working model.

* He is so boring - he cannot even entertain a doubt.

* He gave a very moving performance, everyone moved to the nearest exit.

Tailpiece.

Got up on the dot, the chores and was ready by a half past 9. It was election day and we discharged our constitutional responsibility.

A quiet day, otherwise.