A different onam.

Our first onam without mom.....Our caretaker, Vijayan and his wife, Syamala got lunch for us sans the 'paayasam'. It was a superb lunch. Damn sweet of them!

Telephone calls, smses and messages on What'sApp kept coming in.

And then came Sumangala and her brother and sister. She was with us for 20 years, helping mom in her housework while mom and dad were particular about her education - she finished her graduation and is now, a teacher in a school, nearby. Her husband, working abroad in Kuwait, is arriving tomorrow early morning on a month's leave. Subhash, her brother, is a successful businessman, operating from Sreeperumbudur, concentrating on packing material and their leading customer is Saint Gobain!

I remember Subhash during his younger days, when he and his family used to insist on my helping him to join the Indian Navy. It never did work out owing to many reasons while his cousin could successfully pass the recruitment examination and enroll in the IN. For Subhash and his family, it was a loss of face and they're angry with me for 'not having seen him through'. He'd joined an engineering firm concentrating on the construction business and one fine morning, he took the train to Madras to draw his future. The result of his hard work is there for all to see.......he's now a successful businessman. This evening, standing near my mom's cremation spot, he attributed his success to my parents and yours truly. He was determined to make it big after his failure to join the IN and it was that resoluteness that saw him overcome the bad days! His wife, Rajani, a son studying in class III and a daughter, in pre-school is his small world.

Susheela, their eldest sister, is an 'Anganwadi teacher' doing well, whose husband is expected from Saudi Arabia on a month's leave, tomorrow at 10 AM. Her education was also taken care of by my parents when she used to help mom, before her younger sister had come in!

They'd fetched up to pay their homage to mom and dad.......finding it difficult to reconcile to my mom's passing away!


Tailpiece.

(a) Susheela, had also contested the panchayat elections, in '05, on an LDF ticket and came third, behind mom.

(b) Padmakumar left for Palakkad on completion of leave, this evening at 2215 hrs. Our strength has, now, reduced to four! 

Mom's Mollykutty comes calling.

Mani and I went through the day's proceedings with clockwork precision. The crows and the birds have got used to the new source of food and hence, didn't waste much time in swooping in on the offering! Padmakumar, left for his house after breakfast, to spend time with his mother, who's recouping slowly but steadily from her recent fall.

Lekha had gone to Kottarakkara to get, most importantly, a few medicines that were low on stock and to replenish the provisions required for our stay in the coming days. She was back in an hour, commuting up and down by auto rickshaws!

Rema's neighbours - Praveen and Babita - who'd commenced their journey early morning from Palakkad reached us by lunchtime. Mom had taken a liking for 'Mollykutty' - that's her nickname for the diminutive young lady with a million volt smile - during her visits to Palakkad and relished her interactions with Praveen. They'd not heeded to her invites to 'The Quarterdeck' at Guruvayur because of their professional preoccupation - he's a self made businessman dealing with machinery spares, operating from Coimbatore while she's a veterinary surgeon at Palakkad!

They're told about my mom's last days and anecdotes by the four of us - lest we missed out on the details! The two of them were exceptional listeners and were eager to hear more of our narration and by the time they're off to Thiruvananthapuram, it was teatime!

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Earlier, my friend, RK Singh had called up to offer his condolences and we ended up catching up with each other's news over a telecon that lasted almost an hour! He's settling down at Ahmedabad - in fact, midway between Ahmedabad and Gandhinagar - and is currently overseeing the furnishing of a his three BHK flat in which he has offered a bedroom for us, if and when we were to visit him and Usha! He's aware of the thrill that I get while I attend the Dussehra celebrations out there!!

It was damn sweet of him.....

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Meanwhile calls, messages and mail continue to pour in!


Tailpiece.

(a) The madness over the Cauvery waters continues. Sadly, we don't seem to have tall leaders who are capable of putting a sense of reasoning, mature thoughts and a sense of fair play into the minds of the rampaging public towards their fellow countrymen. Sad!

(b) Based on messages received from friends, classmates and course mates over the What'sApp, I understand that the three service chiefs have told the government that the recommendations of the 7th Pay Commission were not being implemented in the armed forces as they do not fulfill the aspirations of the men in uniform! I laud the chiefs for taking a stand.....it would be prudent for the government to take note of the servicemen's grievances and rewrite the recommendations, without any further delay!!

             

The crowd is dwindling!

This morning, Raj Nivas was agog with activity from a half past 3. My sisters were busy packing breakfast and lunch for the team, consisting of Sanil, Achu and Ammu, poised to leave for Bangalore in Mini's car. The distance to be covered was about 670 kms through Punalur, Shencottai, Rajapalayam, Thirumangalam, Salem, Hosur to Gottigere, at Banagalore.

They'd kicked off by a quarter to 6. Sanil and Achu took turns behind the wheel and since we're monitoring them thanks to the GPS, their real time position was known to us all the while. They'd reached their destination by a quarter to 5 and soon after, we heard of the mayhem let loose in the city of Bangalore, on a silly thing like the sharing of the Cauvery waters! Let me make it clear, waters have to be shared amicably by the adjoining states without any damn hesitation!!

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Burning of vehicles on either side of the border between the two states and causing collateral damage just cannot be accepted. The reason - the order by the Supreme Court regarding the sharing of the Cauvery waters! Consequently, tempers have risen, emotions have been stoked by the mischief mongers and the mayhem is there for all to see. I'm sure the law and order machinery of the state will rise to the occasion, round up the culprits at the earliest and justice will be delivered.

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Rathnavalli teacher, all of 78 years and a good friend of mom, came to offer her condolences. She was immensely sad and told us a lot many anecdotes of mom. As she spoke, looking at my mom's recent photograph on the mantelpiece, her tears were unstoppable while flowing down her cheeks!
Susheelakutty and Ramachandran came in soon after and spent some time with us. We're meeting them after a long gap. Ramachandrettan had come in with his son, Sarath accompanied by his wife, Anjana and their three year old daughter, Yukta who kept us regaled by her continuous chatter and had fallen in love with me by the end of her stay!!

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It was the second evening of lighting the wick at the stowage point of my mom's ashes.


Tailpiece.

1. Am not saying in hindsight but I was sure that mom would take care of her son-in-law and the grandchildren, throughout their journey and ensure that no harm befell them, the Cauvery 'tamasha' notwithstanding! But thinking back on it, a car with Karnataka registration traversed through a stretch of 600 kms of Tamilnadu's countryside and the Hosur road towards the end!!

2. Parul and Sanjay Khare had called up to offer their condolences and comfort me, late in the evening. Damn sweet of them!

'The Sanchayanam'.

Today was mom's sanchayanam. The PN Panicker family was complete except for a few absentees, who'd reasons to be away. The day had begun early as the entire lot had to finish their bath and therefore, many were up and about, going about their chores by about a half past 4!

Mani had come around at his usual time and we'd embarked on the 'bali' soon after. The offerings were ready which had takers in a few crows and sparrows, with the woodpecker majestically, amidst them! The guests had begun to arrive by a quarter to 8 and soon after, the executive committee members of the local Nair Service Society's 'karayogam' had descended to help Mani, my 'sa'arthi' to navigate through the day's proceedings.

It's on the sanchayanam day that the following take place:-

    (a) The ashes(A charred piece of bone, to be precise) are sifted out from the cremation spot, from
          the areas of the head, the abdomen and the feet.
    (b) Each of the three pieces is washed thoroughly with cow's urine, tender coconut water, milk,
          curd and rose water and deposited into the small earthenware pot. Burning incense sticks and
          flowers were also put along with it.
    (c) The cremation spot is covered with mud to make a longish mound where the following were
          planted - tender turmeric saplings at the head, a coconut sapling at the abdomen, a specific
          variety of Colocasia Esculenta, its botanical name but commonly known as 'taro', at the feet
          with a wide variety of grains sprinkled all over the mound.

It was an emotional experience to sight the charred pieces of bones lying scattered all over the surface of the shallow patch, where mom's pyre had been lit, six days ago. The towering personality and the small bundle of intense activity, that was my dear mom, had been reduced to small, charred pieces of bone! The earthenware pot, wrapped in red silk, was lowered into a hole in the earth, beside a jack tree and a piece of sugarcane, that I'd used as a walking stick just before,

It will be this earthenware pot, with mom's ashes, that will be taken for immersion at the Papanasam, at Varkala on the 17th day after the cremation.


Tailpiece.

1. A lot many people, including relatives, had taken part in the two hour ceremony after which, I 'd gone around thanking everyone for their presence, with folded hands.

2. The guests left after breakfast, the immediate family after lunch leaving our small family to ourselves. A wick was lit - at sunset - at the spot where my mom's ashes-in-the-earthenware-pot was secured.

3. Rathnavalli teacher, had sent her son and family to offer her condolences. Damn sweet of her!

4. Earlier, in the morning, I'd silently gone time wise through the happenings of last Sunday and reminded the family at 1158 hrs that it was at this time that the hospital staff had tried to revive mom but to no avail!!


       

Preparing for the 'Sanchayanam'.

The day had begun on the usual note with Mani fetching up at 20' past 6 and the proceedings getting on in right earnest. The crows were in attendance and I've been noticing a lonely woodpecker in attendance all these days!

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My smaller uncle has come with another information which he was reluctant to part with because of its serious import. Mom had passed away on the 'Atham' day of the Malayalam calendar. It has ramifications on the person who's carrying out the ceremony - meaning your's truly. A 'Mrityunjaya Homam' needs to be done, the frequency and the exact set of 'pujas' will be informed by the family astrologer. In fact, he seems to have asked him as to whether I believed in these things! I need to play this down and quietly, guide the attention away......because these things have a way of putting unnecessary pressures on the people who love me! I'm of the firm belief that one's end is pre-ordained and it's simply futile to dwell upon such information!!

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The house had started filling up with the folks from Thiruvananthapuram. Meanwhile, Sanil, Ammu, my little maman and Usha ammayi had gone for the final round of marketing for the ceremony tomorrow. Vijayan, our caretaker, brought in the difficult ones that needed to be tapped from the resources around which only he was familiar with!

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Jayasree's parents, from Bombay, along with Ramachandrettan had dropped by just before lunch and so did Omanakuttan, who was on his way to Konni, with a friend. By evening, the house was full and the sleeping slots oversubscribed. It was an exuberant dinner prior to which there were a lot of anecdotes about mom that were narrated!


Tailpiece.

Mom's first photograph that's around is when she was three along with her parents, her uncle and aunt and her grandparents! She was not happy with the dress that was chosen for the occasion.......and hence, is teary eyed!!(The explanation was given by herself!)

The next is her school group photograph while she was in class X, at the Cotton Hill Girls' High School, Thiruvananthapuram. She's clad in a long flowery skirt and blouse....looks very beautiful.

The third in the chronological order is while she was at the College for Women, Vazhuthacaud, Thiruvananthapuram and she's dressed in a saree-blouse combination, smack in the first row, center!

And then, comes her first photograph with dad, post marriage.........time really has flown!

NSS Nair, HGTA.

One of the first callers this morning was N Sivasankaran Nair, High Grade Telegraph Assistant(Retd), all of 83 yrs. His story was a nostalgic peep into history in respect of my mom's professional journey as a Branch Post Mistress(BPM).

The Kura Post Office was inaugurated in '60 with N Krishna Panicker, my paternal grandfather, as its first BPM in pursuit of his philanthropic efforts and Sivasankaran Nair was the postman. After about two years, my grandfather had his youngest daughter, Varadamma, to take over from him but she wasn't very keen about the job and was replaced by his daughter-in-law, Sarojini, who, too, had a very short tenure. It was in early '64 that mom took over as BPM, Kura after my paternal grandfather had prevailed upon my maternal grandfather, who was in a deep dilemma because he knew that his daughter wasn't keen to go to Thalavoor, near Kottarakkara, as she was fond of pursuing a profession in a city, preferably Thiruvananthapuram!

Sivasankaran Nair, further underscored my mom's dedication towards her work with the following:-

     (a) She was meticulous in everything that she did.
     (b) Her superiors were impressed with her efficiency and most of them knew her dad!
     (c) She taught her subordinates the right work ethics and practices and
     (d) She'd sacrificed her professional advancement for the sake of her children's education!

He'd left Kura PO, in mid '64, on promotion and ever since, had been following my mom's activities. To prove it, he'd whipped open his wallet to show me an old newspaper cutting that spoke of Chandramathykutty Amma's interaction with the kids of a nearby school, on the occasion of a Reading Day(Vaayana Dinam)! He, further, added that he'd fetched up at my paternal grandfather's residence soon after his passing away and rued the fact that it has been repeated in the case of my mom too! Sivasankaran Nair, despite his age, came as a pillion on his grandson's mobike!!

Incidentally, mom had retired as the BPM, Kura in Dec '96. During her long innings, she'd endeared herself to the people with her genuine concern for their welfare and well being!


Tailpiece.

1. Dharettan, my cousin's husband, Sreekumar, Varadamma bua's second son, Aji, Rema's younger brother-in-law were the others who'd dropped by in the course of the day.
2. Sanil, Lekha and Ammu had gone to Kottarakkara to buy things for the ceremony, day after!
3. My younger maman and his wife fetched up by supper time and they're gonna be with us for the next few days. 

A quiet day.

Mani had fetched up, as usual, at a 20' past 6. The 'Bali' ceremony started soon after and surprisingly, he made a hash of it. His face showed that he'd a very late night with plenty of booze to keep him company! The result was there for all to see or were there any other reasons? The things that were not available were camphor to get the fire in the makeshift stove moving, the Re.1 coin along with the betel leaf and nut..........The crow never fetched up, upsetting even my own prediction for today.

....Or have I done anything wrong that has upset mom's soul, I wonder......

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Babu Sahadev, my classmate, had called from Canada to covey his condolences. He'd recalled his stays at 'The Quarterdeck' and the thrill that mom had while hosting them. When his voice broke, I'd to put him at ease!

Ajith, had called from his ashram this afternoon and he sounded distraught at the news about my mom. He was relaxed when I'd recounted the thrill that mom had, on receiving the eight volumes of the Mahabhagavatham that he'd sent for her on the Janamashtami day!

Narayanan seems to be smarting from not having seen my mom's mortal remains despite my informing him! I've given him the task of registering online, for mom's death certificate and he was only too happy to oblige. Damn sweet of him! Probably, it reins in his despair!! The application needs to be forwarded within the next two days.

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Lekha, Sanil and Ammu had gone out for the purchase of items that would be required over the weekend and for the 'Sanchayanam' on Sunday! They reached, after finishing all the work, a trifle after a half past 1.


Tailpiece.

A quiet but hectic day and the sun kept it quite warm in the afternoon!