Most of us over 50 were home schooled - in many ways.
1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done. "If you're going to kill each other, do it
outside. I just finished cleaning".
2. My mother taught me religion. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet".
3. My father taught me about time travel. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me logic. "Because I said so, that's why".
5. My father taught me more logic. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not
going to the store with me".
6. My mother taught me foresight. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident".
7. My father taught me irony. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about".
8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper".
9. My mother taught me about contortionism. "Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!".
10. My mother taught me about stamina. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone".
11. My mother taught me about weather. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it".
12. My mother taught me about hypocrisy. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't
exaggerate".
13. My father taught me the circle of life. "I brought you into this world and I can take you out".
14. My mother taught me about behaviour modification. "Stop acting like your father".
15. My mother taught me about envy. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do".
16. My mother taught me about anticipation. ""Just wait till we get home".
17. My mother taught me about receiving. "You are going to get it from your father when you get
home".
18. My mother taught me medical science. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to
get stuck that way".
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My father taught me humour. "When that lawn mover cuts off your toes, don't come running to
me".
21. My mother taught me how to become an adult. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never
grow up".
22. My mother taught me genetics. "You are just like your father".
23. My mother taught me about my roots. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me wisdom. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand".
25. My father taught me about justice. "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like
you".
This should be sent only to the over 50 crowd because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these 'exact' words by our parents.
Tailpiece.
Had got up half an hour late by my standards. Went through the chores and was ready on time and we headed straight for the Foundation dropping invitations for tomorrow's function at two places. At the office, it was further preparations for the function. Wrote out the briefs regarding the PN Panicker award winners and along with that, had written a short essay on the life and times of PN Panicker and worked out the finer details as per the minute-to-minute programme.
Meanwhile, Lekha and Kripashankar - my nephew who has come for the weekend from Chennai - saw two Malayalam movies and have been helping themselves to pizzas and fast food!
Sheeba, the compere for tomorrow, had fetched up by 6 and I briefed her about the detailed aspects of the programme. She's a Malayalam teacher in the Holy Angels' Convent - my alma mater - and is an accomplished lady in fine arts and cultural activities. We'd a run through the programme so that she was left with no doubts, whatsoever.
There were two outside errands - twice to check up the arrangements, the banners and the buntings; the sound system and the placement of the flower pots at various parts of the venue and a visit to Pothy's to buy ceremonial shawls.
It was a comparatively late evening as I hit the sack!
1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done. "If you're going to kill each other, do it
outside. I just finished cleaning".
2. My mother taught me religion. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet".
3. My father taught me about time travel. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me logic. "Because I said so, that's why".
5. My father taught me more logic. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not
going to the store with me".
6. My mother taught me foresight. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident".
7. My father taught me irony. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about".
8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper".
9. My mother taught me about contortionism. "Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!".
10. My mother taught me about stamina. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone".
11. My mother taught me about weather. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it".
12. My mother taught me about hypocrisy. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't
exaggerate".
13. My father taught me the circle of life. "I brought you into this world and I can take you out".
14. My mother taught me about behaviour modification. "Stop acting like your father".
15. My mother taught me about envy. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do".
16. My mother taught me about anticipation. ""Just wait till we get home".
17. My mother taught me about receiving. "You are going to get it from your father when you get
home".
18. My mother taught me medical science. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to
get stuck that way".
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My father taught me humour. "When that lawn mover cuts off your toes, don't come running to
me".
21. My mother taught me how to become an adult. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never
grow up".
22. My mother taught me genetics. "You are just like your father".
23. My mother taught me about my roots. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me wisdom. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand".
25. My father taught me about justice. "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like
you".
This should be sent only to the over 50 crowd because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these 'exact' words by our parents.
Tailpiece.
Had got up half an hour late by my standards. Went through the chores and was ready on time and we headed straight for the Foundation dropping invitations for tomorrow's function at two places. At the office, it was further preparations for the function. Wrote out the briefs regarding the PN Panicker award winners and along with that, had written a short essay on the life and times of PN Panicker and worked out the finer details as per the minute-to-minute programme.
Meanwhile, Lekha and Kripashankar - my nephew who has come for the weekend from Chennai - saw two Malayalam movies and have been helping themselves to pizzas and fast food!
Sheeba, the compere for tomorrow, had fetched up by 6 and I briefed her about the detailed aspects of the programme. She's a Malayalam teacher in the Holy Angels' Convent - my alma mater - and is an accomplished lady in fine arts and cultural activities. We'd a run through the programme so that she was left with no doubts, whatsoever.
There were two outside errands - twice to check up the arrangements, the banners and the buntings; the sound system and the placement of the flower pots at various parts of the venue and a visit to Pothy's to buy ceremonial shawls.
It was a comparatively late evening as I hit the sack!
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