Remembering Mrs PN Panicker, my Ammachi.

Around 2115 hrs, 29 years ago on this wretched day, my maternal grandmother, G Chempakakutty Amma aka as Mrs PN Panicker passed into the mist of time, plunging the entire family in immense grief. She breathed her last at the SUT Hospital, Thiruvananthapuram.

Unfortunately, Lekha and I were at Coonoor as I was doing the 47th Staff Course. We couldn't join the family-in-mourning because my folks at home decided not to disturb me as I was doing an important(?) course. Secondly, getting a phone call through to that hill station during those days was a Herculean task. It was only when we'd fetched up, at Thiruvananthapuram, during the first tutorial break that I could shed tears for my dear Ammachi.

We, both, were more of friends rather than maintaining the familiar grandmother-grandson relationship. My going away to the Sainik School, at Kazhakootam in Jan '67 was taken very badly by her. Subsequently, she used to look forward to my vacations to do things that she was always fond of doing. We used to go for the matinee shows, she used to insist on my accompanying her to the family doctor, K Narayana Pai or the Aryavaidyan at the Kottakkal Arya Vaidyasala for her medical problems. Muthachhan would fix up the appointment and once we returned from the visit, would insist on hearing from me as to what the doctor had advised!

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I stood in front of her photograph at 2115 hrs this evening - among the collage, it depicts my offering the 'dakshina' to her and ironically, her last photograph with me at the time of my marriage on 16 May '91. Her words that she'd spoken to me soon after the ceremony before we had moved in for the ceremonial lunch, "I've seen your marriage; now I don't mind going away", echoed in my ears with a distinct clarity. And I remember chiding her, saying that "You've a long way to go because you and Muthachhan have to come and stay with us, at Ooty". 

And I can never forget her telling me thus, "You tell me when we should come and I shall get your Muthachhan, along with me, but will the cold be okay for me?" I didn't know then that it was never destined to be! 

Exactly 70 days later, she was on her journey to Valhalla. And her words were eerily prophetic! 

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I can still remember the taste of the different kinds of food, sweets and other dishes that she made for me because I used to be fond of them, so much so, that Maman used to grudgingly say, "Amma makes only what Rajeev likes", and she just smiled and didn't seem to care!

Ours was a special relationship.......I would like to believe that it hasn't ended; this is just a temporary break before we meet up again! 

I miss you all the time, Ammachi. 

My Ammachi, bestest!       

Tailpiece.

Got up at 6 with the thoughts about Ammachi, the chores and then, came in Subin to clean up the overhead fresh water filter tank without my calling him up, though I'd noted in my mind to call him one of these days! As he was leaving, he showed me his brand new mobike that cost him Rs.84 grand. 

It was a quiet day otherwise.

Participated in the evening's 'Aazhchakkootam' on the web. Retired Customs Commissioner, Sugathan touched upon a lot of interesting aspects on the subject, 'Gold Smuggling and its Interception'.