Hilarious!

Dateline 07 Jan

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in the car which he was driving.

                                              - Will Rogers

Never under any circumstance take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

                                              - Dave Barry

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad,

                                              - Miles Kington

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

                                              - Mark Twain

Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?

                                              - Benny Hill

I asked God for a bike but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

                                              - Emo Philips

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he is wrong.

                                              - Charles Wadsworth

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

                                              - Isaac Asimov

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

                                              - Mark Twain

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

                                              - Lily Tomlin

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

                                              - Dave Allen

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

                                              - Agatha Christie

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

                                              - Robert Bloch

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

                                              - Oscar Wilde

Tailpiece.

Got up at 5, sent all the messages, switched on the hymns on the home theatre, lit up the puja room lamp and opened up the house for the day.

Morning cuppa with Lekha.

Walked on the road in front of The Quarterdeck; recited my prayers.

Worked on my laptop.

Lunch, saw "Snehakkoottu", followed by siesta. 

The evening chores.