Humour in uniform.

Sena Medal & Bar or SM**

I am a recipient of Sena Medal (Gallantry) twice, awarded for two operational actions, almost 16 years apart from each other at two different locations. This post is not to be misunderstood as a self tomtomming exercise, it's only to convey the agony I am undergoing by virtue of this double 'dhamaka'. Maybe it's a revenge by the terrorists despatched to their heavenly(?) abode by me and my team.

Everything was fine as long as I had only one gallantry medal. When I received the second gallantry medal I went through varied experiences. On receipt of my first award, I received a personal letter from the then COAS, Gen AS Vaidya. Then a bachelor, my brother's comments were that this would get me a bride fast. Unfortunately in God's own country, an Army officer, awarded or not, is way down the marriage market, no guesses for the top one. I happened to get a bride who had no clue about what an Army officer did and awards and rewards had no meaning to her at that time.

When I received the second medal, the first guy who did not appreciate this was my helper (Buddy). He told my wife, "Didn't the government realise that saab has already got a sena medal, why have they given him the same medal a second time? They could have awarded him a Visisht Seva Medal (VSM) at least". (VSM is below SM in the order of precedence). For him an additional on my chest would have looked better be it low on precedence.

The second was the Government of Kerala or rather a Babu sitting in the Secretariat. The state government allocated remuneration (Kerala allocates peanuts as compared to other states for valour) to various award winners. I wrote to the government asking them to sanction me the authorised cash benefits. The reply from them was that they had already sanctioned for the first one and there was no grant for the repeated awards. The letter almost meant, "Don't disturb us time and again or so what you received an award the second time" or words to that effect.

Till I was in service I could write SM & Bar against my name as it was understood by the man as it was understood by the men in uniform that it's Sena Medal and Bar to Sena Medal. But when my cousin , a known film personality visited me, I saw a very happy smile on his friend's face. The guy thought that I have a bar attached in my house.

So I changed my appendage to SM*. It went on without any hiccups until I had to make a visiting card in the new organisation where I worked. Even after all briefings, the draft was put up to me minus the asterix (*). I asked him where did the asterix go missing - he told me that he thought that the asterix meant a pointer to a footnote, so he thought why avoid the confusion - just leave it.

The best one which knocked me unconscious was from a guy who had a little bit of knowledge about the Army rank structure, came up to me and said, "Sir I have a doubt. How can you be a Colonel and a Subedar Major at the same time?"

Tailpiece.

Got up at 6, the chores and was ready by a half past 9. 

Akhil, with the car, was at the gate on the dot at a half past 10. Lekha had to go across to Chavakkad to buy sundries and we called on Sajish, our usual chauffeur, who lost his wife the day before yesterday.

The evening chores.