1. It was Nov '90 and I was at home on a few weeks' leave. My parents had given me an ultimatum to get married and I'd told them that they could zero in on the girl, based on my requirements. And my stand was that I'd see only one girl and go through the formalities of a formal 'getting to know each other' ceremony which should culminate in marriage. Till then, I'd been falling in and out of love with girls(?) at an alarming frequency (higher than the number of times Bombayites got in and out of their BEST buses) and must admit that most of the times, it was one sided – and that too strictly, from my side! It was then that Lekha arrived.
2. She was at her home, nursing her wounds after being bruised in her college- NSS Perunthanni, Thiruvananthapuram- elections for the post of 'chairperson'. Her home was just eight kms away from mine, at Kottarakkara. We met and I'd liked her instantly because she was slim and the rest of the activities went off with clockwork precision and we got married on 16 May '91. And after our formal and mandatory visits to her and my relations, we fetched up at the Staff College at Wellington, Ooty by early Jun. Three months into this idyllic situation and disaster struck. She had a perpetual low fever and her appetite started getting to disappear gradually. In the meanwhile, she'd got to be friendly with a local beautician and they used to interact quite frequently exchanging tips on the nuances of looking good. In one such foray of hers ( as I was going to be late on an exercise and because the beautician realized that we're newly married) after the 'hennaing' of her hair, Lekha returned home and had bath in lukewarm water (the geyser being of ancient vintage, took its own time to deliver) before I fetched up, back from college.
3. By next morning, she was too sick and unable to get up from bed and our usual habit of having breakfast together had to be dropped. She was taken to the nearby military hospital where she was diagnosed for 'Rheumatoid Arthritis' though the Medical Specialist, Lt Col Bhatta, had expressed the doubt that she could be having an LE cell phenomenon and put her through a battery of tests and I saw that look of 'horrified surprise' on his face when the lady attendant recorded my wife's weight as 25 Kgs and I instantly realized that I'd a serious problem in my hands. Since nothing much had come out of those tests, it was deduced that Lekha's ailment was Rheumatoid Arthritis!
4. Ayurveda was considered the best form of treatment for the ailment, and so Lekha went back home and was with my parents, while being managed medically at the Kottakkal Arya Vaidyasala. Meanwhile, I'd finished the staff course and was posted at Kochi. Lekha continued to have bouts of low fever and pain in the joints and for immediate relief, she was put on a high dosage of NSAIDS (Non Steroid Anti Inflammatory Drugs) as I'd insisted on my friend and doctor, Sujith Vasudevan, that any use of steroids was a big no, as I dreaded its after effects from whatever medical journals that I'd gleaned from and poor Lekha used to get ulcers in her mouth quite frequently, because of the high intake of tablets like Aspirin, Dispirin etc. The naval doctors, were incidentally, advocating gold therapy and had placed an order for the requisite dosage on the local market.
5. By Aug '93, things started worsening as there was no let up on the fever and she suffered from what, in medical parlance, is termed as a 'lateral foot drop' and was admitted in the Lisy Hospital at Ernakulam under the care of a 72 year old, experienced doctor named Joseph Kurien. Within a couple of days, she'd become totally immobile as her hands and legs had gone cold and limp; the services of a nurse from the Red Cross were solicited to assist me in taking care of her immediate needs in the hospital room.
6. 18 Aug '93 can never be forgotten and shall ever remain etched in my mind. Lekha'd started with mild epileptic tremours around 8 in the morning which continued at an agonising frequency of 11/2 to 2 hrs and by 2120h she'd slipped into coma, after a massive episode. The doctor made an unprecedented visit to the hospital, soon after, and had her shifted to the CCU, that night itself and told me that I should inform our near and dear ones, confirming the diagnosis as SLE(Systemic Lupus Erythmatosus) that had the following characteristics:-
(a) Very difficult to diagnose
(b) Very active in girls between 20 and 30 yrs of age
(c) The ratio of occurrence was 1: 20,000
(d) And usually, eight out of ten cases were fatal.
7. There was an utter sense of despair and helplessness. In the run up to this stage, she'd expressed a desire to eat fried fish and ice creams but I'd refrained her from having them because of her lingering fever. I remember having prayed to God then, to get her back for me as I wanted to get her the fried fish and ice creams, that were very much affordable by me. And sitting on the bench, outside the CCU, I learnt my lessons about life.
8. My man Friday, came running to me the next morning, asking me to take charge of my in laws and their immediate circle of friends and relatives as they were making arrangements for a hearse to take Lekha's body to Kottarakkara for the ceremonies at their ancestral home. I reckon, that it was the first and last time that I'd given a verbal lashing to them for dwelling on such things when they should have been praying for her recovery, instead. My parents and sisters, on the other hand, were wondering aloud as to why this was happening to their son/brother. But the moist poignant of them all, was the breaking of a hundred and one coconuts at the Pazhavangadi Ganapati temple, Thiruvananthapuram by my aunt, whose daughter was getting married on 23 Aug, with an earnest request to God that Lekha's end should happen only after that date. As I recapitulate the incident, I've no ill feeling towards my aunt or the others because this is the reality of life, whether one likes it or not. Grief is intensely personal. I also remember almost all of you, who were at Kochi then, coming and consoling me during those difficult times.
9. Meanwhile, there were a few relatives who even advised me to dump Lekha since she'd been ill soon after marriage and especially after the doctor had said that this was hereditary. Incidentally, there'd been no trace of any such ailment amongst Lekha's parents or grandparents - both maternal and paternal and if hereditary issues are to be addressed, one has to actually go back to the previous seven generations as I gathered subsequently. I'm a bit old fashioned in this regard, as I consider marriage is for keeps and therefore, one cannot treat it in the same manner as if one were buying vegetables. And, if I were to have undergone the same predicament, I'd have felt bad if my wife had dumped me!
10. I kept persisting on Dr Joseph Kurien to do all that he could to get Lekha back but he was worried as to what form she'd be in the aftermath of the 48 hour long epileptic episode. And moreover, to make matters worse, the infusions were being pumped into her body through the jugular that was cut for the purpose and his worry was that infection should not set in, which was very much a possibilty even in the most sanitised hospital. He used to keep me posted about everything, so much so that, his juniors and the others around took me to be a doctor!
11. It was on the eighth day, when Lekha'd finally come out of her deeply comatose stage and I still cannot forget an excited Philomena Josekutty Thomas- a classmate's wife- coming out of the CCU to give me the good news(Ever since that day, Philomena you've a very special place in our life just as Mohanachandran- yet another classmate of mine and a vet- has, who'd done a very difficult surgery on Bruno, despite his busy schedule without taking any remuneration. I reckon, we shall ever remain indebted to you for your acts of kindness and concern). The process of graduating to normalcy was long and painful but being the fighter that she is, Lekha could overcome this quite easily. Intense physiotherapy for a year, coupled with a sustained dosage of steroids over nine years, has reduced the after effects to deformities in her hands and of course, she has put on weight. Dripping water taps and doors ajar, once an anathema have become music to me now, because they've become a requisite for Lekha's sake. And I must confess that I was like Shashi Kapoor in the movie, 'Satyam, Sivam, Sundaram' who used to abhor deformity in people but Lekha's condition has mellowed me on that aspect too. I think life has taught me to be a better person.
12. For the last 10 years, Lekha's off all medicines. There are two schools of thought, amongst the medical fraternity, in the management of SLE patients. One is to put the individual on a sustained, yet reduced dosage of steroids for the entire lifetime but then the person would always have the feeling of being sick deep within. The second is to take the individual off medicines completely and use a heavy dosage, if the illness were to perk up again. We've chosen the latter option and consequently, she's under constant medical surveillance.
13. Life has been wonderful all these years and I'm glad that Lekha is by my side which is the most important thing. I do not look too much into the future and I've made it a point never to say no to her. While we've been with friends, relatives and most of you, it's a humbling feeling whenever I see each one of you go out of your way to look after Lekha and I get jealous of all the attention that she gets. Thanks all of you from the bottom of my heart for giving us so much of love and affection, I guess we shall remain indebted to all of you till our very end. Thanks, indeed!
2. She was at her home, nursing her wounds after being bruised in her college- NSS Perunthanni, Thiruvananthapuram- elections for the post of 'chairperson'. Her home was just eight kms away from mine, at Kottarakkara. We met and I'd liked her instantly because she was slim and the rest of the activities went off with clockwork precision and we got married on 16 May '91. And after our formal and mandatory visits to her and my relations, we fetched up at the Staff College at Wellington, Ooty by early Jun. Three months into this idyllic situation and disaster struck. She had a perpetual low fever and her appetite started getting to disappear gradually. In the meanwhile, she'd got to be friendly with a local beautician and they used to interact quite frequently exchanging tips on the nuances of looking good. In one such foray of hers ( as I was going to be late on an exercise and because the beautician realized that we're newly married) after the 'hennaing' of her hair, Lekha returned home and had bath in lukewarm water (the geyser being of ancient vintage, took its own time to deliver) before I fetched up, back from college.
3. By next morning, she was too sick and unable to get up from bed and our usual habit of having breakfast together had to be dropped. She was taken to the nearby military hospital where she was diagnosed for 'Rheumatoid Arthritis' though the Medical Specialist, Lt Col Bhatta, had expressed the doubt that she could be having an LE cell phenomenon and put her through a battery of tests and I saw that look of 'horrified surprise' on his face when the lady attendant recorded my wife's weight as 25 Kgs and I instantly realized that I'd a serious problem in my hands. Since nothing much had come out of those tests, it was deduced that Lekha's ailment was Rheumatoid Arthritis!
4. Ayurveda was considered the best form of treatment for the ailment, and so Lekha went back home and was with my parents, while being managed medically at the Kottakkal Arya Vaidyasala. Meanwhile, I'd finished the staff course and was posted at Kochi. Lekha continued to have bouts of low fever and pain in the joints and for immediate relief, she was put on a high dosage of NSAIDS (Non Steroid Anti Inflammatory Drugs) as I'd insisted on my friend and doctor, Sujith Vasudevan, that any use of steroids was a big no, as I dreaded its after effects from whatever medical journals that I'd gleaned from and poor Lekha used to get ulcers in her mouth quite frequently, because of the high intake of tablets like Aspirin, Dispirin etc. The naval doctors, were incidentally, advocating gold therapy and had placed an order for the requisite dosage on the local market.
5. By Aug '93, things started worsening as there was no let up on the fever and she suffered from what, in medical parlance, is termed as a 'lateral foot drop' and was admitted in the Lisy Hospital at Ernakulam under the care of a 72 year old, experienced doctor named Joseph Kurien. Within a couple of days, she'd become totally immobile as her hands and legs had gone cold and limp; the services of a nurse from the Red Cross were solicited to assist me in taking care of her immediate needs in the hospital room.
6. 18 Aug '93 can never be forgotten and shall ever remain etched in my mind. Lekha'd started with mild epileptic tremours around 8 in the morning which continued at an agonising frequency of 11/2 to 2 hrs and by 2120h she'd slipped into coma, after a massive episode. The doctor made an unprecedented visit to the hospital, soon after, and had her shifted to the CCU, that night itself and told me that I should inform our near and dear ones, confirming the diagnosis as SLE(Systemic Lupus Erythmatosus) that had the following characteristics:-
(a) Very difficult to diagnose
(b) Very active in girls between 20 and 30 yrs of age
(c) The ratio of occurrence was 1: 20,000
(d) And usually, eight out of ten cases were fatal.
7. There was an utter sense of despair and helplessness. In the run up to this stage, she'd expressed a desire to eat fried fish and ice creams but I'd refrained her from having them because of her lingering fever. I remember having prayed to God then, to get her back for me as I wanted to get her the fried fish and ice creams, that were very much affordable by me. And sitting on the bench, outside the CCU, I learnt my lessons about life.
8. My man Friday, came running to me the next morning, asking me to take charge of my in laws and their immediate circle of friends and relatives as they were making arrangements for a hearse to take Lekha's body to Kottarakkara for the ceremonies at their ancestral home. I reckon, that it was the first and last time that I'd given a verbal lashing to them for dwelling on such things when they should have been praying for her recovery, instead. My parents and sisters, on the other hand, were wondering aloud as to why this was happening to their son/brother. But the moist poignant of them all, was the breaking of a hundred and one coconuts at the Pazhavangadi Ganapati temple, Thiruvananthapuram by my aunt, whose daughter was getting married on 23 Aug, with an earnest request to God that Lekha's end should happen only after that date. As I recapitulate the incident, I've no ill feeling towards my aunt or the others because this is the reality of life, whether one likes it or not. Grief is intensely personal. I also remember almost all of you, who were at Kochi then, coming and consoling me during those difficult times.
9. Meanwhile, there were a few relatives who even advised me to dump Lekha since she'd been ill soon after marriage and especially after the doctor had said that this was hereditary. Incidentally, there'd been no trace of any such ailment amongst Lekha's parents or grandparents - both maternal and paternal and if hereditary issues are to be addressed, one has to actually go back to the previous seven generations as I gathered subsequently. I'm a bit old fashioned in this regard, as I consider marriage is for keeps and therefore, one cannot treat it in the same manner as if one were buying vegetables. And, if I were to have undergone the same predicament, I'd have felt bad if my wife had dumped me!
10. I kept persisting on Dr Joseph Kurien to do all that he could to get Lekha back but he was worried as to what form she'd be in the aftermath of the 48 hour long epileptic episode. And moreover, to make matters worse, the infusions were being pumped into her body through the jugular that was cut for the purpose and his worry was that infection should not set in, which was very much a possibilty even in the most sanitised hospital. He used to keep me posted about everything, so much so that, his juniors and the others around took me to be a doctor!
11. It was on the eighth day, when Lekha'd finally come out of her deeply comatose stage and I still cannot forget an excited Philomena Josekutty Thomas- a classmate's wife- coming out of the CCU to give me the good news(Ever since that day, Philomena you've a very special place in our life just as Mohanachandran- yet another classmate of mine and a vet- has, who'd done a very difficult surgery on Bruno, despite his busy schedule without taking any remuneration. I reckon, we shall ever remain indebted to you for your acts of kindness and concern). The process of graduating to normalcy was long and painful but being the fighter that she is, Lekha could overcome this quite easily. Intense physiotherapy for a year, coupled with a sustained dosage of steroids over nine years, has reduced the after effects to deformities in her hands and of course, she has put on weight. Dripping water taps and doors ajar, once an anathema have become music to me now, because they've become a requisite for Lekha's sake. And I must confess that I was like Shashi Kapoor in the movie, 'Satyam, Sivam, Sundaram' who used to abhor deformity in people but Lekha's condition has mellowed me on that aspect too. I think life has taught me to be a better person.
12. For the last 10 years, Lekha's off all medicines. There are two schools of thought, amongst the medical fraternity, in the management of SLE patients. One is to put the individual on a sustained, yet reduced dosage of steroids for the entire lifetime but then the person would always have the feeling of being sick deep within. The second is to take the individual off medicines completely and use a heavy dosage, if the illness were to perk up again. We've chosen the latter option and consequently, she's under constant medical surveillance.
13. Life has been wonderful all these years and I'm glad that Lekha is by my side which is the most important thing. I do not look too much into the future and I've made it a point never to say no to her. While we've been with friends, relatives and most of you, it's a humbling feeling whenever I see each one of you go out of your way to look after Lekha and I get jealous of all the attention that she gets. Thanks all of you from the bottom of my heart for giving us so much of love and affection, I guess we shall remain indebted to all of you till our very end. Thanks, indeed!
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