Sunday, April 11, 2010

Do mothers bring up their children differently?

I’ve always asked this question and tried to find the psychological reason as to why mothers do this, because it’s a phenomenon that’s very much in existence, as gleaned from the experiences of some of my close friends and relatives. Looking back into my own life, my parents never showed any difference in their approach towards either me or my two sisters and in fact, they imbibed in me that it was up to me to take care of my sisters’ well being, even if it were to be at the cost of my own discomfort. And I never grudged that as I thought it was my natural responsibility for having been born earlier than them.

Years later, when I used to return from school or the Academy on holidays, it was my sisters who would insist upon my mother to have my favourite dishes prepared for me during the period and thereby, get me preferential treatment. And even to this day, despite the fact that we’ve our own families and lead our own lives, we open up to each other for guidance, support or opinions and even agree to disagree on things and value them for their worth.

Meena, our maid, has four children – the eldest being a son, followed by three daughters – ranging from seven to fourteen years. What amazes me is that she outrightly and brazenly shows her preferences – she’s fond of the third child for reasons best known to her – and at times, puts one child against the other with disastrous consequences! And the resultant behaviour is that whenever they’re left to themselves, the three of them gang up to give the mother’s favourite a rather horrid time!!

Does the mother who exhibits this sort of behaviour believe in the ‘divide and rule’ policy but what do they aim to achieve in the end, is a question that will continue to haunt me till I find a plausible answer!!!

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