A friend of mine got tired of his wife just about six months after the wedding. He complained bitterly to me about her and told me that he had concluded to break up with her; he went on to say that he was sure that he had made a mistake.
I did not respond immediately because I knew I must tell him the right thing, so I went home and thought and that is what gave birth to this thought.
Many men have broken up with their wives because they end up not being the wife that they have dreamt of. But they forgot that on their wedding day, they were commissioned to groom their brides for the new task of being a wife...
Nobody calls the woman wife on her wedding day but bride because it is the man who is expected to groom his bride to become a wife. That is why the man is called bridegroom or groom and the word grooming means patiently nurturing, teaching, tending and helping the bride to become what she ought to be.
It is believed that a man that takes a woman to the altar of marriage is mature enough to patiently groom his bride to become the wife. The man is not supposed to just expect the bride to automatically become the wife. She must be groomed!
It is clear that many men have unnecessary expectations when they are getting married, they want some magic to happen to their wives, they want them to become what they always had in their minds about what they want their wives to be; not considering the fact that the woman does not know what is on your mind except when you teach her.
Our expectations are often too unrealistic because we don't remember that change takes time and we can only expect something from someone who knows what we want.
So before you think of breaking up, always consider if you have groomed her and given her time to understand you.
Hope you realise that a turtle will never become a hawk.
God brings people who are opposites of each other together in marriage so that they can help each other to overcome their weaknesses.
If your wife is also weak then where will you get the strength that is needed?
The problem with many of us is that we don't accept and know our spouses before attempting to change them. Of course, your wife may not be from the same background as you, so it will take time for her to adjust. Stop trying to change her, accept her, love her, teach her and be patient with her; that is what grooming is all about.
She is going to be your wife but she is your bride now, so groom her.
Stop complaining about her. She may be a turtle and you, a hawk, she cannot fly, so be patient with her.
I don't believe that your marriage can't work, be patient and allow god to help you.
Tailpiece.
Got up at my usual time, the chores and was ready by a half past 9.
The maid was at work today.
The book I'd ordered did arrive but I'd ordered the wrong one. Sob, sob! Have already initiated steps to take corrective action.
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