Today was hectic. I'd set myself a deadline to finish up the 'fitness reports' on three of my boys. The marks that I'd intended to give each of them, based on their performance in the past year and the attendant pen picture had been formulated on my writing pad. It was only their transfer into the appropriate forms that remained.
Once the transcription was over, it was time to show them their reports. They've the right to know as to what I thought about them. As I'd each of them with me, I held out this refrain, "Look this is what I've written of you. Read through and if you feel that I haven't reflected your qualities correctly, missed out on any aspect that should have rightfully found its place according to you or if you disagree with my observations, do let me know. I'm ready to change the report without hesitation but the onus is on you to convince me".
A dictum that I've followed all these years as I did not want anyone to go away from me with the thought that I said something and had written something else about him! The reactions from the assessees have always been the same - they become speechless and generally, nod in agreement! Is it because an individual gets quite embarrassed to see himself in words and wants to get over the discomfort as quickly as possible, I wonder? I must, however, explain two reactions that stand vividly in my mind even now.
The first was Mohan, my navigator. He was impulsive and showed a tendency to take short cuts in the things that he did and I'd advised him of the importance of being meticulous and deliberate while putting down his thoughts on paper so that he never did have to cringe later. It was his over enthusiasm and the propensity to get instant results that propelled him to doing so and I'd reflected it in his report with the observation that he'd improve upon this trait as he matured further and if guided by his superiors correctly. It was a harsh indictment on his performance but he'd meekly accepted what I'd written and I felt that it was probably because he was resigned to the fact that however much he'd try to convince me I'd be defiant and stick to my point of view! Immediately after, he was transferred on another assignment and I'd forgotten all about the incident when I received a lovely card from him on my birthday, months later, with some real nice words. I was thrilled and realised as to how wrong I was in my perception of his final reaction. Incidentally, he still wishes me, without fail, on every birthday of mine!
The second instance was that of Kumar, my engineer on another ship. He was efficient and sincere in his work and I'd given him a 7.4 out of an aggregate of 10, highlighting all his plus points - which was indeed a 'thumping' report in the assessment parlance! His reaction but zapped me when he said, "You've marked me too low since I've been getting 9s and 10s from my previous captains. I feel sorry for the fact I'd the misfortune of serving under you, sir". And he'd walked off in a huff leaving me stunned or should I say, pained? A month later when his name figured in the list of newly promoted officers, he'd come with his wife to give us sweets and apologise to me for his brusque reaction. Though I'd made the right noises then I sadly realised that something - what I used to feel about him - had snapped from deep within!
Tailpiece.
I must admit the fact that I get a tremendous rush of adrenaline - despite my explanation of the usual reactions from people on being shown their reports - when the protagonists accept my version about them.
Out of genuine satisfaction of having got it right or is it the ego that I can do nothing wrong? I really can't say!
Once the transcription was over, it was time to show them their reports. They've the right to know as to what I thought about them. As I'd each of them with me, I held out this refrain, "Look this is what I've written of you. Read through and if you feel that I haven't reflected your qualities correctly, missed out on any aspect that should have rightfully found its place according to you or if you disagree with my observations, do let me know. I'm ready to change the report without hesitation but the onus is on you to convince me".
A dictum that I've followed all these years as I did not want anyone to go away from me with the thought that I said something and had written something else about him! The reactions from the assessees have always been the same - they become speechless and generally, nod in agreement! Is it because an individual gets quite embarrassed to see himself in words and wants to get over the discomfort as quickly as possible, I wonder? I must, however, explain two reactions that stand vividly in my mind even now.
The first was Mohan, my navigator. He was impulsive and showed a tendency to take short cuts in the things that he did and I'd advised him of the importance of being meticulous and deliberate while putting down his thoughts on paper so that he never did have to cringe later. It was his over enthusiasm and the propensity to get instant results that propelled him to doing so and I'd reflected it in his report with the observation that he'd improve upon this trait as he matured further and if guided by his superiors correctly. It was a harsh indictment on his performance but he'd meekly accepted what I'd written and I felt that it was probably because he was resigned to the fact that however much he'd try to convince me I'd be defiant and stick to my point of view! Immediately after, he was transferred on another assignment and I'd forgotten all about the incident when I received a lovely card from him on my birthday, months later, with some real nice words. I was thrilled and realised as to how wrong I was in my perception of his final reaction. Incidentally, he still wishes me, without fail, on every birthday of mine!
The second instance was that of Kumar, my engineer on another ship. He was efficient and sincere in his work and I'd given him a 7.4 out of an aggregate of 10, highlighting all his plus points - which was indeed a 'thumping' report in the assessment parlance! His reaction but zapped me when he said, "You've marked me too low since I've been getting 9s and 10s from my previous captains. I feel sorry for the fact I'd the misfortune of serving under you, sir". And he'd walked off in a huff leaving me stunned or should I say, pained? A month later when his name figured in the list of newly promoted officers, he'd come with his wife to give us sweets and apologise to me for his brusque reaction. Though I'd made the right noises then I sadly realised that something - what I used to feel about him - had snapped from deep within!
Tailpiece.
I must admit the fact that I get a tremendous rush of adrenaline - despite my explanation of the usual reactions from people on being shown their reports - when the protagonists accept my version about them.
Out of genuine satisfaction of having got it right or is it the ego that I can do nothing wrong? I really can't say!
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