Monday, May 2, 2011

Dad, you've it in you!

My mom and dad are with us at Kochi after a lot of persuasion.

Dad has become weaker and falters quite often while moving about in the house, his walking stick notwithstanding! As I see his deterioration, I wonder whether it's faster thanks to his 'Parkinson's syndrome' or sheer old age. It's when I see others, older than him, in much better physical health that I feel that the ailment is taking its toll. My mom is often perplexed and gets angry because, as I know her, she hates seeing her husband in such a helpless state!

He interacts with us but only on being cajoled and quickly gets back into a shell of his own. To add to it, he gets into periods of erratic activity when he acts disjointedly, attains a 'trance' like state and becomes violent. Throughout such episodes, he has a vacant stare and can scare the daylights out of people not aware of the vagaries of the ailment. During such times, I chide him as I do not like to see him in that condition - I only hope that he accepts my boorish behaviour as an act of my immaturity and forgives me.

He's stated time and again that he feels safe when I'm around and I've this sneaky feeling that he's sure that I can do anything to prevent any harm befalling him! How I wish I'd such superhuman powers!!

I often recall his youthful robustness and the gruelling games of Tennis that he used to play, years back. His analysis of people and events were always dot on. His rendering of the intricate stanzas of the Bhagwad Gita, accompanied by connected explanations laced with appropriate anecdotes, was an all time treat. These days, he has minimised such intellectual forays to a great extent.

Dad, hang on to your inner strength that you've in abundance and I'm sure, together, we shall overcome!

As I punch in these thoughts into my laptop, sitting at the foot of his bed I can see him looking at me very intently. Wonder what's going on in his mind?

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