I've attended about ten weddings in the last 45 days. The weddings were that of the children of my classmates, course mates and contemporaries. The fact that I want to bring out is that, among the ten, only one met the criterion of the bride and the groom being from the same caste, creed, religion and whatever! The remaining nine involved inter-caste, inter-region, inter-religion meeting of the minds and the hearts. And all the ten couples, without exception, had taken their flights after the mandatory days of celebrations connected with the wedding, to destinations abroad in pursuit of their professional requirements!
It's a question of arranged marriages vs. love marriages. Youngsters have often told me that they just can't think of an arranged marriage as living with a totally strange person was unthinkable. To the explanation that the parents worked untiringly towards their children's interests, the youngster literally tells you that you're living in a make-believe world as there's no connect between the two!
And I must also say that I've often been hearing the following refrain from the members of my generation about the uneasy relationship that they have with their children:-
(a) "Our generation has been at the receiving end from not only our parents but also from our children.
We've never had the freedom to choose what we thought was good for us and now, the children
say that we should support their decisions as they're more aware of what they need!"
(b) The strongest point in favour of the arranged marriage, is that it's brought about by the combined
thinking of the families involved and since the elders are involved, there's maturity and experience
backing their decisions! Any sign of a wrong note in the relationship is quickly taken up by the elders
and a remedial action put in place with the least amount of delay.
Love marriages have their strong points and the pitfalls. While refraining from going into the details, the point of interest to note is that if the couple, during the days of their courtship, had truthfully opened up to each other about their own selves, the mismatch, the fights and the feeling of being let down will have no reason to come in the way of their relationship. And the following facts are also relevant:-
(a) The newly married couple often stay far away from their near and dear ones. Their immediate families
are, therefore, not available for any conflict resolution and hence, the reliability on their friends and
neighbours for the purpose gets accentuated.
(b) The pressures on the professional front should be absorbed through imaginative ways by giving
adequate time to nurture the relationship at home.
Tailpiece.
1. It would be interesting to follow each of the relationships. I, for one, am sure of the fact that their off springs would be healthy and intelligent, far beyond what we've reckoned with thus far!
2. I wish the ten newly married couples the very best in their lives and here's wishing that they get whatever they wish for!
PS.
And were we wrong in following whatever our parents had told us? On a personal level, I don't think so because I'm eternally thankful to them for making me what I am today.
It's a question of arranged marriages vs. love marriages. Youngsters have often told me that they just can't think of an arranged marriage as living with a totally strange person was unthinkable. To the explanation that the parents worked untiringly towards their children's interests, the youngster literally tells you that you're living in a make-believe world as there's no connect between the two!
And I must also say that I've often been hearing the following refrain from the members of my generation about the uneasy relationship that they have with their children:-
(a) "Our generation has been at the receiving end from not only our parents but also from our children.
We've never had the freedom to choose what we thought was good for us and now, the children
say that we should support their decisions as they're more aware of what they need!"
(b) The strongest point in favour of the arranged marriage, is that it's brought about by the combined
thinking of the families involved and since the elders are involved, there's maturity and experience
backing their decisions! Any sign of a wrong note in the relationship is quickly taken up by the elders
and a remedial action put in place with the least amount of delay.
Love marriages have their strong points and the pitfalls. While refraining from going into the details, the point of interest to note is that if the couple, during the days of their courtship, had truthfully opened up to each other about their own selves, the mismatch, the fights and the feeling of being let down will have no reason to come in the way of their relationship. And the following facts are also relevant:-
(a) The newly married couple often stay far away from their near and dear ones. Their immediate families
are, therefore, not available for any conflict resolution and hence, the reliability on their friends and
neighbours for the purpose gets accentuated.
(b) The pressures on the professional front should be absorbed through imaginative ways by giving
adequate time to nurture the relationship at home.
Tailpiece.
1. It would be interesting to follow each of the relationships. I, for one, am sure of the fact that their off springs would be healthy and intelligent, far beyond what we've reckoned with thus far!
2. I wish the ten newly married couples the very best in their lives and here's wishing that they get whatever they wish for!
PS.
And were we wrong in following whatever our parents had told us? On a personal level, I don't think so because I'm eternally thankful to them for making me what I am today.
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