Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Sorry dad!

I was up soon after 5 and a sadness had enveloped me right from then. The ceremonies, post mom's death, were coming to an end and as one believes, her noble soul is being released to its next destination as the layers of its attachment to us were being systematically demolished over the past fortnight, through them.

Today's the 16th day's 'bali', outside the premises of the Raj Nivas, my parents' house. Aniyan, the caretaker's younger son, had come with his car on the dot at 7, to chauffeur me and my young maman to the venue which wasn't far from our place. Vasudevan Namboodiri was my guide for the purpose and he received us with extraordinary warmth that my heart told me - almost instantly upon seeing him - that he was the right person to perform the ceremony for mom.

Without much ado, he conducted me through the procedural sequence and no sooner than the final offering was placed at a corner of the interlocking-tiled courtyard, a jet black crow had swooped in and flown off with its share! Post ceremony, he'd offered a cup of tea, each, to the three of us and has told me that he'd visit us on his next visit to Guruvayur, which he does often as his brother, a banker, lives there.

Meanwhile, Madhu and Sindhu, the late Sukumara Pillai's children had fetched up and were awaiting their turn after me. Mr. Pillai, who was the son of Mr. Pappu Pillai, the first peon of the High School where my sisters had done their schooling, had passed into the mist of time on the same date as mom and Mani had guided Madhu, after me till the 5th day!

When I was a kid, my parents used to ask me as to whom among them I liked more and if I remember right, I was always diplomatic by saying that I liked the both of them with the same intensity. Taking a cue from there, I was adamant that I went through the 16 day rituals for mom on the same lines as I'd followed for dad, 4 yrs and 8 months back, without any deviation.......to the last detail of lying on the floor on a mat all these nights.

But, today, I realised the moment of truth, which is, that I love my mom a wee bit more......Sorry dad! .........And knowing him, he wouldn't mind!!


1. The rest of the day passed off uneventfully. Soman, of the local BSNL office had brought his son, an engineering graduate, for my advice on which profession he should pursue. Later on I'd come to know that my mom had assured Soman - during one of her previous visits - that her son would find his son a job(?).

2. Tomorrow, we set off early morning to Varkala, Papanasam to immerse mom's ashes in the Arabian Sea just as we'd done dad's.

3. Padmakumar had fetched up from Palakkad around 2200 hrs to take part in the proceedings. Mom's sisters, a brother and my cousins will fetch up from Thiruvananthapuram and will be in attendance!  

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